1.
a
person of
no significance
a tireless ant, crawling
up, down , sideways, twisting, scurrying
with a headload along the pathways in the
corporate anthill, thinking this is the universe
this is the cause. And the wages of this exalted
drudgery and glorified, coveted slavery - tolerable existence.
2.
Small town boy
don’t you feel lost
amidst the glitteratti,
the shimmering chandeliers,
the shining silverware,
the starched napkins,
the polished cutlery,
the almost silent footfalls,
the stilted conversation,
the tinkling laughter.
Did you remember your lessons?
Fork in your left hand and
knife in your right.
Or was it the other way round?
3.
What am I?
Sensitivity, a sense of fairness
- Bengali genes , I guess.
Upper class/caste machismo,
typically Hindi heartland,it is a put on)
- almost entire life spent in Bihar,
rites of passage to manhood retained.
Ability to make decent conversation
In tolerable English (accent varying from ersatz-BBC to New Delhi doublespeak),
depending upon the listener and a veneer
- Jesuit education in the formative years and
What else but BBC!
Analytical, logical, expressive and assertive
- professional training and experience.
Abrasive, rough-grained and aggressive
- school of hard knocks and growing up in a rough mohalla in a small town,
where fists and tongue go together. 'Been there, seen it' -
that's simply smart-ass attitude,
I guess!
So, what am I?
An incurable optimist.
4.
Physical frame
Optimistic 5'8"
65 kilograms, down from 70
slightly squat, lifetime of exercise and peasant genes
recently touched by hyper-thyroidism
eating away at assidiously collected pectorals, biceps and triceps,
receeding hairline, more salt than pepper beard
nose bent during boyhood foray in to boxing,
missing tooth- motorcycle accident in misspent youth,
on the whole a used face.
Used, abused, misused by life
too many cigarettes
too many long nights
too many books.
I was aiming at larger than life, till
Life cut me down to size.
5.
A sense of ennui,
Tiredness, scepticism if you like
Creeps in insidiously
When one takes stock
Of the things achieved
Against the price paid
Do not simply add up.
The question just keeps on popping up, time and again.
Is it all worth the pain?
What happens if one just gives up
And let's go?
