Monday, October 29, 2012

Phases


You carried me inside your body
Brought me forth to this world,
I was told.
You fed me, held me
I snuggled instinctively.
You held me, drew me close,
I reciprocated, sought you out,
I remember.
And so it went on, till
Topsy-turvy teen age and
the incipient moustache on my upper lip
made me shun and even protest against
 any physical display of affection.
A little later there were none at all.
I grew in to manhood and you into middle age.
Then came marriage and fatherhood followed
And too soon, middle age is here for me.
Your passage to old age, was it easy
Or painful, I did not have time
To find out, or probably the inclination.
I have come a full circle
And sometimes long for your healing touch
On my scalp, my face
Where life has etched many lines, left many scars
In its wake- Maa.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Haiku: Time

Here is a Haiku, dedicated to my student-friends- VGSOM Placecom05, Sumit & Mahesh, Tarak & VGSOM 2011 batch:


Haiku: Time

Four wristwatches

gifts from loving students

memories of good times.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

My Movie

This is my movie
this movie is mine
directed by me
screenplay by God and me, in that order
storyboard by Life
acted by me and supported
by a whole, big cast-
blood relatives, friends, well-wishers and...
not-so-wellwishers, strangers
Acting the entire script,
it's great feeling, watching in flashback
the sepia-toned images
elapsed years have taken out the harsh edges
and makes them slightly hazy, mellow
almost erasing the actual pain, trials and tribulations.
Zoom in to close-up
is at my free will, but
I cannot flash-forward,
will have to wait.......
Don't stop the movie now
Don't take me out of the hall,
there's so much more to come,
see!

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Temple Erotica



Why did our ancestors choose to
Mix the profound with the profane
The sensual with the sublime
To adorn their temples with erotica
- Blue films on stone?


Because they said
This is your body, your flesh
Composed of the five elements
And this is the vista of pleasure
Base, carnal yet pure
That it can offer


Recognize it, know it, accept it
And then shake it off-
Water from a lotus leaf


Then and only then
Enter the portals
Of the sanctum of your soul
And search for your Creator.



SELF IMAGE

1.

a
person of
no significance
a tireless ant, crawling
up, down , sideways, twisting, scurrying
with a headload along the pathways in the
corporate anthill, thinking this is the universe
this is the cause. And the wages of this exalted
drudgery and glorified, coveted slavery - tolerable existence.


2.

Small town boy
don’t you feel lost
amidst the glitteratti,
the shimmering chandeliers,
the shining silverware,
the starched napkins,
the polished cutlery,
the almost silent footfalls,
the stilted conversation,
the tinkling laughter.
Did you remember your lessons?
Fork in your left hand and
knife in your right.
Or was it the other way round?
3.

What am I?
Sensitivity, a sense of fairness
- Bengali genes , I guess.
Upper class/caste machismo,
typically Hindi heartland,it is a put on)
- almost entire life spent in Bihar,
rites of passage to manhood retained.
Ability to make decent conversation
In tolerable English (accent varying from ersatz-BBC to New Delhi doublespeak),
depending upon the listener and a veneer
- Jesuit education in the formative years and
What else but BBC!
Analytical, logical, expressive and assertive
- professional training and experience.
Abrasive, rough-grained and aggressive
- school of hard knocks and growing up in a rough mohalla in a small town,
where fists and tongue go together. 'Been there, seen it' -
that's simply smart-ass attitude,
I guess!
So, what am I?
An incurable optimist.

4.

Physical frame
Optimistic 5'8"
65 kilograms, down from 70
slightly squat, lifetime of exercise and peasant genes
recently touched by hyper-thyroidism
eating away at assidiously collected pectorals, biceps and triceps,
receeding hairline, more salt than pepper beard
nose bent during boyhood foray in to boxing,
missing tooth- motorcycle accident in misspent youth,
on the whole a used face.
Used, abused, misused by life
too many cigarettes
too many long nights
too many books.
I was aiming at larger than life, till
Life cut me down to size.

5.

A sense of ennui,
Tiredness, scepticism if you like
Creeps in insidiously
When one takes stock
Of the things achieved
Against the price paid
Do not simply add up.
The question just keeps on popping up, time and again.
Is it all worth the pain?
What happens if one just gives up
And let's go?

We ask a great deal of life


Thank you Virginia Woolf


As you so succinctly put it.

I ask for:

- life to be fair

- life to be just

- effect to follow cause

- efforts to culminate in results

- the good, honest to be rewarded

- the bad punished

- love to beget love


- good behaviour to be reciprocated

- politicians to be honest and politics clean

- bad things not to happen to good people

Now, that's a tall order! I am indeed

Asking a great deal of Life!

Proposition

The present me


As defined by the mental frame-


I am the product of millions


And millions of incidents, accidents,


Circumstances and impulses.


A thousand cross-currents


Have tagged me along.


A smile, quirked eyebrows,


Pouting lips, a pointing finger,


An upraised hand, a frown,


A smirk, sighs and


Coos of approval


Each


Has moulded, bent, deviated,


Eroded and formed me.


So, take me


For what I am


And not what I should have been,


And I'll do the same too.

Forget the rearview mirror, forgive


Craftily it proclaims,


“OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR MAY BE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR”


(it’s a blatant lie!)


Preying on your fears of your past chasing you


Magnifying, establishing its place in your life.


The rearview mirror


Seduces you with the backward glances,


The pleasure-pain narcotic;


Leaves you wallowing in self-pity


And self-recrimination.


Sucks you deeper in to the whirlpool,


Of a past-centric life.


Takes your eyes away


From


The vistas unfolding


Future-present-future………


The possibilities.


Wrests control of your life and


Gives the future to your past.


In the ultimate analysis


You are unable to


Forgive others


Forgive yourself


And carry forever the baggage of your past.


You become a rearview mirror